This Is Forty

I hated the movie "This is Forty."  I found it so offensive that I actually turned it off half way through.  If forty looked like my husband faking a bowel movement to hide from me than I wanted nothing to do with it.  I knew that MY forty would look nothing like the movie.

so this is my forty...

  For me forty is all about redefining myself.  Not because I am unsatisfied with any particular aspect of my life but because my life is changing and I either have to adapt to those changes or get stuck in old ways and thinking patterns that no longer serve me.  

This is a time full of possibilities and promise.  There is excitement and passion that lights up my mornings.  Mostly this feeling is exhilarating, but every so often that excitement turns into anxiety and I have to remind myself to breathe through the discomfort.  When I lean into that discomfort, I am aware that the willingness to embrace uncertainty as well as joy and love takes a wide open heart full of courage.

  Forty gives me a broader depth of awareness about the world and myself.  I am more aware of how my thoughts, behaviors and actions ripple outwards and eventually, make their way back to me.  Not always, but more often than ever before I am able to accept that which I can not control.  That acceptance brings inner peace and grace.

    There is now a depth and maturity to my marriage.  Our kids are growing up and becoming more and more independent.  Parenting no longer takes so much effort and we have time to date again.  Dating my husband is great; I get the thrill of a boyfriend with the rich trust of a soul mate.  

  At forty, my body is both softer and stronger. I judge less and I am more flexible.  I may not have the brute strength of my twenties but my body has a well being that it hasn't experienced since childhood days of riding my bike or swimming in the lake.   Forty is more play, more laughter and a lighter heart.  Forty is an acceptance of my unique body and beauty.  

  Forty is the best of both worlds.  Forty is the middle ground where I are able to look back be thankful for the fullness of my life and at the same time I look forward to the possibilities that I want to create.